1) Jack is involved in crime ranging from sub-misdemeanor to felony on a daily basis. Auto theft (Matchbox) is one of his favorites, but he has been known to steal balls, money (leaves and coin variety), and other sundry items: sunglasses, shoes, and hearts of little girls. He commits assault and battery (mostly, but not isolated to his sister) often, and he and Ben a 3 year old neighbor have even been caught red handed during a vandalism spree. I think it's important to know what crime is and that it doesn't pay.
2) Jack would never make it "on the inside". He's a really bad criminal. He takes of with volleyballs and footballs during the middle of games, he was caught vandalizing a flower patch in broad daylight. These are inauspicious beginnings for a career criminal which leads me to believe that if Jack undertook a life of crime he would be frequently caught and spend copious amounts of time in jail. Jack is a sensitive guy and not really cut out to be an alpha male among other hardened criminal types.
3) It's really fun to say "Hey Jack that's theft and is a crime punishable by law my friend!" whenever he walks away carrying another toddler's Lightening McQueen car. Even better is "Hey Brosef that's Assault AND Battery" when he forcefully slaps a friend on the back. For those of you who have witnessed it I think you'll agree it's a decently fun gag we do.
Jack is pretty resistant to correction (read normal 2 year-old), and so I figured he never picked up on the comments. Until today.
Shortly after I got home from work Jack was arranging his car collection on the floor when Tess came up and grabbed one. Jack's response was to quickly and defensively gather his remaining cars, repossess the car in question, and firmly educate Tess "Hey that's THEFT!".
I guess I've made sharing a crime.
I am assuming Mark wrote this. THis was funny!!! Only you mark could pull this off.
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